A Sweet Escape
by xopeaceandloveox
Summary: Clare can't take her parents fighting. What happens when Eli invites her over for the weekend? Will romance blossom? Or will a dark secret weigh them down? Rated T just in case :
1. Take Me Away

**(Clare's POV)**

SMASH! I cringe as I hear the crunching sound of a plate hitting drywall and screaming voices.

"You PROMISED me! How could you do this!"

My parents were at it again. I clutch at my cross necklace, hoping that God will save my family. But now, I have a hard time believing any of it. I stare at the cross pendant. _Is this even real? _I wonder. _If there _was _a God, he wouldn't let this happen to my family! We are Christians for God's sake! Why is He letting this happen to us?_

I walk over to my computer, fight back the tears in my eyes, and sign onto AIM. I hope Eli's online… he's the only one who makes me forget all these problems I have at home…

**(Eli's POV)**

***DING***

clare-e23: Hi Eli.

I roll over in bed and look at the screen. Who the freak is im-ing me at two thirty in the morning? I glance at my computer screen and see it's Clare. I throw the covers off me and practically jump to my desk chair. I would never give up a chance to talk to her.

***DING***

clare-e23: Eli, are you there?

eli-gold49: Sorry, I was asleep. You woke me up, Edwards. This better be good, because even guys like me need beauty sleep.

clare-e23: Sorry, I just really needed someone to talk to… It's my parents again. I heard a plate being thrown at the wall.

eli-gold49: God, Clare, I'm sorry…

clare-e23: It's okay. I'm just bummed I'm gonna have to put up with this all weekend.

My fingers hover over the keyboard. This was perfect! But did I have enough courage to do it…?

eli-gold49: You can stay over my place for the weekend if you want. My parents will be out until Monday.

I guess that answered that question.

**(Clare's POV)**

Did he just invite me over? As in sleep over too? My heart skipped a beat at the thought- I would get to sleep where Eli sleeps! Wow, Clare, calm down.

clare-e23: And you don't think that's inappropriate?

Please say no, PLEASE SAY NO!

eli-gold49: I don't think so ;)

Thank God.

clare-e23: Do you have any idea what my parents are going to do if they find out? I'd get KILLED.

eli-gold49: Just tell them you're staying at Alli's house. And I'll take that as a yes to my little invitation?

I can't believe I'm doing this right now.

clare-e23: Yeah it is. I can't stand in my parents anymore.

**(Eli's POV)**

I smirk at the computer screen. I can picture Clare blushing right now. I love that affect I have on her, and little did she know, she has the same affect on me. I just know how to hide it.

eli-gold49- I'll pick you up at 11 AM.

**(Clare's POV)**

I could hardly sleep that night. I kept staring at my clock all night, watching the time tick by. But how _could _I sleep? In a few hours, I will be with Eli, and _sleeping over his house!_

Does that mean he sees me as more than his friend? God, I hope he does. Those clear emerald eyes, that lopsided smirk… they just drive me crazy. And it's not just his looks. It's his sense of humor, his way with words, his way of making me feel like the safest, most special girl in the world.

The last time I checked the clock it was 4:30 A.M.

A little while later I melted into dreams of a certain green eyed boy…

* * *

**Authors' Note:**

**Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic, so I hope you like it! In my story, I don't follow what has happened in Degrassi. In my story line, Eli and Clare never kissed for any English project, Vegas Night never happened, and Eli hasn't told Clare about Julia (YET). I already have four chapters written, so I'll update daily, or sooner if you want :D**

**P.S. Sorry this chapter is a little short, I ran low on ispiration :( But reviews inspire me :)**


	2. Dreamland

_I felt the salty sea breeze softly tousle my curls. Eli wraps a strong arm around my waist. _

"_It's so beautiful here, isn't it?"_

"_Not nearly as beautiful as you," Eli whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek softly, making his way to my lips. _

_I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss back, deepening the kiss. _

"_Eli…" I moan softly._

"_Clare…Clare… CLARE!"_

Groggily, I open my eyes to someone shaking my shoulders lightly. I snap them open when I realize it's Eli.

"Eli! What the heck are you doing in my house? And in my room? My parents are going to kill you if they find you in here!"

"Well, I got here at eleven, waited about ten minutes in Morty, honked my horn a few times, then let myself in," He smirked, sitting down at the end of my bed.

_Oh, that smirk._

"Please tell me my parent's cars aren't in the driveway!" I say frantically, looking out my window to see for myself.

"Chill out, Blue Eyes. I looked in all the rooms and they weren't here. Now let's start asking more important questions like why you were moaning my name in your sleep. Was I interrupting something in Dreamland?"

I feel my face turning red and ignore his question. Thankfully he didn't seem to notice- he was busy looking at the picture frames on my dresser.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower ok? Don't break anything," I say with a smirk on my face.

"No promises," Eli replies without turning around.

I take a quick shower, curl my hair, and put makeup in clothes on in record time. I didn't trust Eli alone in my room, especially because I kept a diary in there.

I go into my room, and see no sign of Eli. I then checked under my mattress, and my diary seemed undisturbed.

"Eli? Where are you?"

"I'm downstairs!" I heard him call back.

I follow his voice and a pleasant smell downstairs into the kitchen. There, I see Eli cooking pancakes.

"Wow, you cook?"

Eli turns around and says "Don't expect anything this weekend, Blue Eyes. I love surprising people."

He winks at me and hands me a plate.

We eat our breakfast in awkward silence until Eli says "We should probably leave soon. Your parents left a letter on the table they'd be back at twelve thirty," producing a letter from the back pocket of his jeans.

With that, I dropped my fork, packed two days' worth of clothes in a small duffel, wrote a letter to my parents saying I'd be at Alli's house all weekend, and texted her to cover for me if my parents called her house.

She immediately texted back saying, "Have fun at Eli's house, Clare ;)"

I was about to text back, but Eli pulled me out the door and into Morty. As we drove away, I looked back and I saw my parents pull in the drive way. Thankfully they didn't notice us leaving.

"So Blue Eyes, what do you want to do today?"

_There are many things I want to do with Eli… _

"Earth to Blue Eyes! Stop daydreaming about me and answer the question," he said with a smirk.

I blushed and looked down, and said, "It doesn't matter to me. Anything's better than being at that house with my parents."

"My place it is, then," Eli replied with a mischievous smile.

_Oh, Lord._


	3. Twilight and Awkward Moments

The ride to my house was, in one word, awkward. For once, I had no idea what to say to Clare and it seemed she felt the same way. She sat with her legs crossed, looking out the window, and occasionally biting her lip. I wish I could read her mind! I wanted, no, _needed_ to know how she felt about me.

"Here we are, Goldsworthy Manner," I say as we pull into my driveway. I get out and walk over to the passenger side to let Clare out. She blushed as I took her hand and pulled her out of her seat.

"This is _your _house?" Clare asked, taking in the cheery-looking light blue house with flower boxes in every window and the large flower garden.

"My mom reads _Architectural Digest _religiously," I say, my upper lip curling from the feminine vibe emanating from my house.

"So what are we going to do here?" She asked, innocent curiosity dripping from her voice.

"Whatever we want," I said with a wink. She blushed, and I smirked.

_God, she's beautiful. But what does she think of me?_ _Whoa, get a hold of yourself there, Elijah. You never get this anxious around girls…_

I unlock the door and let us in, and Clare enters cautiously, as if something was going to jump out at her. I could tell she had never been alone with a guy before, and her innocent-ness made me want to be with her even more. I lead her into the living room, and Clare looks like she's uncomfortable.

"Relax Clare, we can just watch a movie if you want. I can rent Twilight even!" I say, clapping my hands with mock enthusiasm.

She smiles and sits down on the loveseat. "You just know me too well."

After I start the movie, I go into the kitchen to pop some popcorn, purposely taking extra long. Vampires… they're not my thing. But Clare likes them, so I didn't think twice about it. When I walk back into the living room, Bella and Edward were getting hot and heavy in her bed. I glance at Clare, who suddenly took an interest in the bowl of popcorn. Wanting to see her blush again, I scoot closer to her and drape my arm around the back of the couch right as Bella and Edward kiss.

_Mission accomplished, she blushed._

I smirk, and focus my attention back on the screen. I didn't focus on the movie that much (because I _really _care about vampires playing softball…) so I watched Clare out of the corner of my eye the entire time. When she leaned back onto my arm, I could tell she was as bored as I was.

"Bored?" I ask.

"Well, I've seen this movie enough times to recite the lines."

"You're such a Twilight nerd," I laugh.

"You better take that back, Goldsworthy!" She slapped my arm and that began a little mini fight. Slaps were passed between us as we laughed, and I grabbed her wrists and pinned her down on the couch, me facing down at her. There, she stopped laughing, and her face fell emotionless, but her eyes seemed eager and dark with want. I felt myself leaning down, wanting her more with every second that passed. She closed her eyes and we were about six inches away from each other… then, the phone rang.

Her eyes snapped open and I used every ounce of will power in me to get off of Clare and answer the phone. She sat up and her face turned a shade of red I've never seen before.

"Hello? Yeah hi Dad, yeah things are fine here, how's Connecticut? That's good, hey I have to go… yeah I'll see you on Monday, bye."

I turn back to Clare, thinking. I couldn't just crawl back on top of her, now could I? The mood was gone, and I really doubt Saint Clare would allow me to randomly get on top of her, especially with our current status as "just friends."

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly, unfortunately without anymore incidents like the one before... We ordered pizza, watched more movies, horror ones like _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ where half the time Clare buried her face in a pillow.

_God I want to be that pillow._

At about 11, Clare yawned.

"Tired, Blue Eyes?"

"A little," she admits. "Um, where am I going to sleep tonight?"

"My room," I reply simply.

She blushes.

I smirk.

* * *

**DIACLAIMER: I DO NOT own Degrassi or it's characters, AIM, Architectural Digest, Twilight, or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. **

**Author's Note: Three chapters in one day! :D I think I'm going to leave it as a cliff hanger for the night. Would you like them to share a bed? ;D**

**REVIEWS KEEP ME GOING 3**


	4. Sharing is Caring

"Your room?" I squeak. The last thing I wanted was to seem like a shy little girl in front of Eli, but with what has happened so far today, that dream is crushed. He smirks at me again, clearly amused.

"I don't bite Clare," he says. He starts walking upstairs, and I follow him with my duffel bag in hand. We end up in the hallway, and Eli stops outside a black-painted wooden door. He opens it, and I was surprised how much it looked like how I imagined it to be.

The room was medium-sized. There was dark wood flooring, and the walls were painted black. Eli had posters from Dead Hand and other bands I didn't recognize lining the wall near his bed. His bed looked to be full size, and had a deep red comforter and black pillows on it.

"Uh, Eli, where am I supposed to sleep?" I had a feeling I already knew his answer.

"My bed's big enough for two, Blue Eyes." He smirked at me, and I felt my face grow hot. "You can change in the bathroom, and I'll change in here. Just don't peek."

I went into his bathroom and quickly shut and locked the door. I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a mental pep talk.

_Calm down Clare… calm down. He's just a friend helping me get away from Mom and Dad. But what was that thing when he was on top of me? He looked like he wanted to kiss me. Or did he? Was I just imagining it? _

I shook these thoughts from my mind and got changed into my sweatpants and cami. I brush my teeth and tie my hair up. When I step out of the bathroom, Eli is nowhere to be seen. I hear the water running in another bathroom in the hallway, so I sit down on his bed and wait for him to come in. I lay back and replay today in my mind, but Eli comes in and interrupts my thoughts.

_Oh, Lord. He sleeps shirtless… _

I didn't know I was staring at his chest until he spoke up.

"Your blue eyes are burning a hole through me."

Thankfully he turned off the lights before he saw me blush. I felt the springs move as he got in bed next to me.

"You gonna get under the covers?"

_Does he want me under the covers?_

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking about my parents." I got under the covers, and suddenly realize I was freezing.

"I'm sure they'll be ok, Clare. My parents went through hard times too."

"What are your parents like, Eli? You never talk about them."

Eli was silent for a while. I hoped I didn't hit a nerve.

"For a while when I was younger, my dad was an alcoholic. My mom worked all the time. Sometimes I would lock myself in my room for hours while my dad got drunk."

"And they didn't split?"

"No, but I thought they would. My dad needed help but he didn't want it. He finally went to rehab after my mom threatened to leave him and take me with her. I don't know what it would be like if they split up."

I shiver from the cold and from the thought of my parents separating. Eli noticed this, just like he noticed everything else.

"You cold?"

"Just a little," I admitted.

"Well that's never good." And with that, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to him. I'm pretty sure my heart just skipped a beat.

"Warm?" I could just hear him smirk.

"Very."

"Good night, Blue Eyes."

"Good night, Eli."


	5. You Are My Heaven

I look at my digital alarm clock on the bedside table next to me and the numbers tell me it's 1:30 A.M. I felt Clare toss and turn next to me. My arm was around her waist for about ten minutes before she turned over.

Then again.

And again.

And again.

Now, either my mattress is either real uncomfortable or she's got something on her mind. And I was determined to know what it was.

"You got something on your mind, Blue Eyes?" Clare was silent and still for a little while. She rolled over to face me and propped her head up on her elbow.

"Can you read minds or something? You always know what I'm thinking." She looked liked she really wanted to know. I mimic her position so I can look in her eyes.

"I've had the same mattress for five years and I've never had problems falling asleep on it. So I'm assuming that your constant tossing and turning is caused by something bothering you." Clare looks down for a while until she meets her eyes with mine and speaks up.

"My whole life, my father taught what to believe. I was taught that Christian families stay together and that if they ever have trouble, God will come through for them and make things better. But the person that taught me that is the one who is tearing my family apart. And that makes me think everything I was told is a lie." Tears well up in her eyes and I take her hand in mine. She looks up at me for a split second and throws herself in my arms, crying like a little girl who skinned her knee after falling on the sidewalk.

I was caught so off guard, I didn't do anything for a moment. When she wrapped her arms around my neck and cried into my bare shoulder was when I put my arms around her waist and pulled her to me.

"Everyone goes through hard times, Clare. That doesn't mean God isn't real, and that He doesn't love you. You know this, I know you do. I can read minds, remember?" I smirk, and she pulls back and looks at my face and I look at hers. I'm pretty sure I can see a little smile in there somewhere. She sniffles and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry," Clare says, suddenly red in the face.

"For what?"

"Crying in your arms like a baby." She gives me an embarrassed half smile and sits up, leaning her head on the headboard.

"I didn't mind it," I say with a smirk, leaning my head against the headboard as well. Clare looks around my room, as if looking for something innocent to talk about. I follow her eyes looking over everything. The black desk with my silver laptop, my black dresser, band posters lining the walls.

"This is exactly the way I pictured your room," Clare said innocently.

"You've thought of my room before? That's a little stalker-ish, Clare," I say with a smirk as she blushes. We both slide down to lay our heads on the pillows and turn to face each other.

"Goodnight Eli."

_I'm doing it right this time._

"Goodnight Clare," and with that, I leaned over and kissed her cheek. I felt it heat up on contact, and when I pull back I could see a faint blush on her cheeks. There was so much more I wanted to do than kiss her, but I had to respect our relationship at the moment.

"Goodnight Eli," Clare replied as she moved closer to me.

After a few minutes I could tell Clare was asleep by her little breaths. I look at her face for a while, grab her hand, and interlace her fingers with mine. I close my eyes, and think of the song A Drop in the Ocean, playing it in my head. If Clare and I ever end up together one day, that will be our song.

_A drop in the ocean,_  
_A change in the weather,_  
_I was praying that you and me might end up together._  
_It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,_  
_But I'm holding you closer than most,_  
_'Cause you are my heaven._

______

I don't wanna waste the weekend,  
If you don't love me, pretend  
A few more hours, then it's time to go.  
And as my train rolls down the East coast,  
I wonder how you keep warm.  
It's too late to cry, too broken to move on.

Still I can't let you be,  
Most nights I hardly sleep.  
Don't take what you don't need, from me.

Just a drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my heaven.

Misplaced trust and old friends,  
Never counting regrets,  
By the grace of God, I do not rest at all.  
and New England as the leaves change;  
The last excuse that I'll claim,  
I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl.

Still I can't let you be,  
Most nights I hardly sleep,  
Don't take what you don't need, from me.

A drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my

Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no, no  
Heaven doesn't seem far away.  
Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no, no  
Heaven doesn't seem far away.

It's just a drop in the ocean,  
A change in the weather,  
I was praying that you and me might end up together.  
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,  
But I'm holding you closer than most,  
'Cause you are my heaven.  
You are my heaven

* * *

______

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or it's chacters, or the song "Drop in the Ocean"**

**Author's Note: Things are heating up! AHHH! And you guys should check out that song, it's so beautiful and it's my current favorite song :)**

**Gerr I wish I could sing, I would love to belt that song out xD**


	6. Your Dirty Little Secret

I wake up feeling peaceful and safe. My face was close to Eli's- so close our foreheads are touching, and my fingers were interlaced with his. This is the way it should be. But does Eli know that? He probably only sees me as his English partner. Was that kiss last night only a pity kiss? Was he just sorry for me that my family is falling apart? I roll over, and pull my hand from his in the process. I feel Eli move next to me, put his arm around my waist, and pull me to him, just like last night.

"You're not getting away from me that easily." I hear him say in a slurred voice. I turn my head, and his eyes are still closed. Is he talking in his sleep?

"Eli, are you awake?" I whisper, and I get no reply for a few minutes.

"I love you. But it's just impossible to be with you now…"

_Is he talking to me?_

"I love you too, Eli." I say quietly, happiness welling up in my chest.

"I'm so glad that you forgive me, Julia. I've never forgiven myself. I love you, Jules." Eli says as he kisses the back of my neck, and I slowly piece things together as I feel my stomach sink as if I was riding a rollercoaster.

_Eli is dreaming about a girl named Julia. He thinks I'm a girl named Julia. But he's never mentioned a Julia to me before… God, I'm such an idiot. He _never_ liked me. He likes, no, loves, some girl named Julia. Who he calls Jules. I'm just someone to flirt with. I'll never be the girl that comes first in a guy's life. First KC, now him. Guys just can't be trusted. Will I _ever _find someone who actually loves me? _

I quickly get up out of the bed.

"Jules, why are you leaving me? You just said you loved me! I'm sorry!" By now, Eli was talking more clearly, and he was border line shouting. I go over to his side of the bed and shake him awake.

"Eli! Wake up!" I shout at him. He was really starting to scare me. His eyes snap open and his face turns red and becomes beaded with sweat.

"Clare… was I… was I talking in my sleep?" He asks, like he was scared he had revealed a secret by accident. I could tell he didn't want me to know what his dream was about.

"Yeah you were. Pretty loudly. What were you dreaming about…?"

_Is he gonna tell me about this Julia girl or what?_

"I don't even remember," Eli replies. I can tell it's a lie, because he was avoiding looking into my eyes. My mom does the same thing when she tells me everything is fine between her and my dad.

_Yeah, right._

"Uh… what was I saying?"

I look at Eli's face, and it seemed like he was begging me not to say it. Like it hurt too much to even talk about it.

"I don't even know. It sounded like gibberish to me." Eli looks at me for a few moments. Then looks down at his hands.

"You hungry?" Eli asks, obviously desperate to change the subject.

_Why the hell would I be hungry when I realize you're keeping this huge secret named Julia from me? God, now I have to put on a happy face today and pretend everything's fine. I did that enough at _MY _house! That was the whole reason I came over here! _

"Starving," and with that, I ushered every ounce of emotional strength I have stored inside of me to plaster a smile on my face.

_And I was storing that for when my parents dropped the bomb on me that they're getting a divorce. Something else wasted on Eli._

He forced as just a fake smile on his face and went downstairs to the kitchen.

"I'll change in your bathroom again. I'll be down in a few minutes," I called down to Eli. As soon as I hear the clag of pots and pans in the kitchen, I attack Eli's room. I was determined to find out who this Julia girl was. I felt like I was being cheated on, even though Eli and I aren't even together.

I look under his mattress (the most obvious hiding place ever), under his bed, his drawers in his desk. I found NOTHING. Nothing, until, I was looking behind his bed. I saw a picture taped picture side down to the back of the headboard. I gently peel it off, holding it only by the edges. On the back was written:

"Eli and Julia- April 23rd, 2009"

I slowly turn the picture over, prepared to size up my competition. I was shocked at what I saw. The picture was of Eli and a girl, who I was assuming was the mysterious Julia. Julia had golden colored curls and bright big hazel eyes that seemed to sparkle in the picture. Eli had his arm around her waist, and appeared to be whispering something in her ear. It must've been one of his witty remarks, because she looked as if she was howling with laughter. What shocked me the most was Eli. He looked so… _different!_ Instead of a black blazer, he was wearing blue v-neck. Instead of tight, bleached skinny jeans, he wore normal baggy jeans with no rips. And his hair was a dark brown instead of black.

_What happened that made Eli change? Did Julia have something to do with it?_

I immediately tape the picture the way I had found it behind the headboard, get dressed, did my makeup, and hurry down the stairs into the kitchen before Eli suspects anything was up. I find him mixing something in a large bowl, while he was still shirtless and had bedhead. I don't think I've ever seen him look better.

"What are you making?" I ask, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

"French toast," he says, putting a bit plate in front of me.

"I swear, it's like you're trying to fatten me up or something with all this food you make," I say, trying to make things normal between us as possible.

_Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Julia was just an ex girlfriend he never got over._

Eli smirks, but doesn't meet my eyes. I know that one thing's for sure. If he doesn't tell me who this Julia girl is, nothing will be the same between us.

* * *

**Hello beautiful readers and reviewers! (hint hint) x]**

**K so as I watch this, I'm watching Justin Bieber on the VMAS, and its so totally obvious he's lip syncing x[**

**So this chapter I had trouble with. I didn't know whether or not to make Eli and Clare a couple before or after he told her about Julia. The part where he said "You're not getting away from me that easily" I didnt know whether it to be real or if he was dreaming about Julia. So I just picked one randomly xP**

**Oh, and I made Julia in my story look like me, because I wanted to xP**

**And I do not plan on following the Degrassi plot where Julia was hit by a car. if I cannot think of anything else, then I will have her have been killed by getting hit by a car.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Degrassi or its characters.**


	7. Heart of Stone

_Clare knows. She knows. I know she knows. I know she knows because she wouldn't look at me in the eyes. Should I tell her? God, she'd freak…_

I hear the soft sound of running water upstairs as I clean up our breakfast. I make my way upstairs to my room and I hear the shower going in my bathroom. Knowing I'd have no interruptions for at least ten minutes, I retrieve my picture of Julia from behind my bed.

_Thank God Clare didn't find this picture of you, Jules._

I back up against the wall and slide down until I am sitting on the floor with the picture in my hands. The picture was taken on our sixth month anniversary, and it was my last full day with her. I looked at my old self- colorful, happy, and carefree. Not that I'm not happy or carefree, but I was happier back then.

Maybe I should tell Clare. She deserves to know what's up if I'm going to have a relationship with her…

_Hey Clare, guess what? Last year I killed my girlfriend. _

I shiver, thinking of what her reaction might be. Maybe she would become too scared of me, and would leave before I could explain. Maybe she wouldn't trust me anymore. Maybe she would understand and we could live happily ever after.

_Phhhht. Yeah right. Listen to yourself, Eli. Happy endings don't exist. And I bet fate is willing to teach you that lesson by making another girlfriend die._

I gently trace my finger over Julia's golden curls. They were what made me notice her the first day I saw her. I remember how I loved to touch them- they would feel like silk against my skin… sort of like Clare's.

_Oh, God. Listen to me. I can't even think about Julia without thinking of Clare. What would Julia think of her? Jules, what do you think of her?_

With that last thought, I hear the water shut off in the bathroom. I quickly get up and stick the picture back in its place behind my bed. The door to my bathroom opens right as I stand up, and Clare emerges with a towel wrapped around her. She notices me right away, and her cheeks flush a light pink. I smirk, mainly because I love that affect I have on her, and not for any other reason.

_Key world, mainly._

"You can change in here and I'll change in the bathroom in the hall." I grab a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a black and grey striped v-neck out of my drawer and walk out. I'm deciding to make things as normal as between us as possible today. No more awkwardness like at breakfast. I'm going to tell Clare, because it's what I have to do. It's the best thing for our relationship, and I'm not letting her out of my life.

About fifteen minutes later, I wait outside my bedroom door for Clare. She emerges a few moments later, dressed and looking refreshed. I was so close to the door that she almost bumped into me. She blushed, and I wrapped my arm around her waist as I led her down the stairs.

"We're going somewhere today." I announce, getting more anxious with every passing second.

"And where's that?" She asked, sounding more interested than usual.

"That's for me to know, and for you to find out," I say, adding a smirk as we leave my house and I open the door of my hearse so she can get in.

"Nothing makes sense today…" I hear Clare say under her breath. I pretend I didn't hear it, and I start to drive.

We drive for about an hour in silence before we reach our destination. I see Clare look out the window in shock.

"A _beach? _Why did you bring me to a beach? It's only April._" _

"I didn't bring you to swim, Clare," I respond with a smirk. We get out of my hearse and I take her hand as we navigate the sandy shore. I was looking for a certain spot.

"Where are we going, Eli?" Clare asked, clearly confused.

"Just trust me, okay?" I say, with a small smile on my face. Being at this place brought back many memories, mostly good. There was one memory I have tried so hard to block out, but no matter how hard I tried, it always haunted me.

We walked about a hundred more feet until we come upon a ring of rocks with a big boulder in the center.

"Eli…" I hear her whisper. The boulder in the center of the ring was shaped as a heart. It was where Julia and I met.

I say nothing as I climb up on the flat top on the boulder and help Clare up as well. We sit in awkward silence for a while.

"Eli, why… why did you bring me here?" She asks. I look right into her eyes at that moment. Her sapphire eyes were brimming with curiosity. I take a huge breath. This wasn't going to be easy.

"Clare, I know you know about Julia." Clare looks away real fast. It seemed like she didn't know what to say, so I keep talking.

"She was an old girlfriend, Clare. I know I was talking about her in my sleep. I was hoping it wouldn't happen last night, but it did." I look into the clear blue sky, thinking about the dream I had last night.

"You didn't just talk in your sleep." Clare said, looking right at me. "When I was trying to get out of bed, you pulled me toward you, and said 'I'm not letting you get away from me that easily.' Then you called me Julia a few times, and started shouting."

I knew she was leaving out the part of her telling me she loved me. I thought it was Julia in my dream. She also left out the part when I kissed her neck.

"Who was she, Eli?" Clare asked. She obviously didn't know what really happened to Julia. I take a deep breath. There's no going back now.

"This rock is where she and I met. We were at the beach by ourselves, and no one else was around. We both came to get away from out parents. She was my ex girlfriend."

Clare is looking at me as I tell the story, inhaling every part of it. I take another deep breath and continue.

"Near the end of our relationship, she started having problems. Julia started going… crazy. She said she heard voices in her head, and that her parents didn't believe her. She would say 'Help me Eli, they get louder every day. They tell me evil things I should do to myself and the people around me.' We came to this rock the day after our sixth month anniversary, because it seemed to be the only place where the 'voices' would shut up. But we got into a fight... a bad one. I was angry that day anyway, my parents yelled at me for staying with Julia. They hated her being around them. They didn't feel safe around her. She was, unstable, at that point, to sum it up. Well anyway, we were on this very rock, when she said to me 'Eli, I hear them here! They found me! They found me!' Now I was a different person back then. I didn't care as much about people than I do now. I yelled at her 'Shut up! You're going crazy on me! Just cool it!'"

I sneak a peek at Clare, whose eyes were brimming with tears. I continue with what happened that moment.

"As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were wrong. I tried to calm her down, I apologized, but she ran off, screaming and sobbing. I lost her after ten minutes of running. She was too fast. I had no choice but to go home after two hours of searching. When I got home, I received news that Julia swallowed a bottle of pills. She killed herself, Clare, because of me. I killed her."

I put my hands over my face, to try to stop the tears, but they slowly dripped out of my eyes as soon as Clare put her hand on my back.

"Eli, it's not your fault. You didn't put those pills down her throat. You didn't know." Clare said in a gentle voice. By this time, I had stopped tearing up, and I pushed a stray curl out of her face and lifted her chin up.

"You always have the perfect thing to say…" I say quietly.

And with that, I lean in and press my lips against hers. After a few moments, her lips fall into the same rhythm as mine, and I feel like I could float.

* * *

_Behind the two lovers, stood a sign, explaining the myth of the boulder._

_Many Hearts of Stone were lightened after a kiss._

_A kiss from their soul mate._

_And those two shall always be together_

_forever._

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI OR ITS CHARACTERS!**

**Authors note: AAAHHHH! I havent updated in forever! I think I was discouraged by the low number of hits. I went from 1.06 thousand kits to 10 in four days. Thats notttt cool lol**

**I made this chapter longer, because I think it needed to be. And dont you worry, plenty of interesting things will happen with Eli and Clare when they at his house alone... as a couple... x]**


	8. Surprises from the Heart

I can't believe it. He finally kissed me. And I kissed him back. Sure, that Julia story bothered me, but it wasn't Eli's fault. As we walk back to his hearse, hand in hand, I ask the question that has been on my mind ever since he kissed me.

"Eli, does this mean that we're... together?"

He stops walking and pulls me towards him. He wraps an arm around my waist and leans down to kiss me.

"Does that answer your question, Blue Eyes?" He says softly with a smirk on his mouth and a soft, gentle look in his eyes. I get up on my toes and softly kiss him back.

"Does that answer yours?" I reply with a sweet smile on my face. I haven't been this happy for a long time. With Eli, I forget everything going in my life. When I'm with him, there's no parent drama, no stress, no worries. Just us together.

Eli held my hand the entire time he was driving back to his house. We snuck a few kisses during red lights, and got honked at a few times by the people behind us when we forgot where were. Truth be told, I was a little nervous to be alone at Eli's house while we are together. I mean, I trust him 110%, but still, it's easy to give into the moment.

We arrive at his house about an hour, and once we were inside, neither of us really knew what to do.

"Relax Clare, I won't try anything on you," Eli said, sensing my cautiousness. In a way, I was disappointed. Maybe I _want_ Eli to try something on me. I stare at my purity ring. Before my parents' issues, it was a symbol of my decision and faith in God. But now? It's just a piece of tin that is like a handcuff. It stops me from showing who I love and how much I want to show it. Ugh, but wasn't I just worried that Eli would try something on me? God, I don't even know what I want.

Eli interrupts my thoughts when he pulls me onto his lap on the couch after he pushed another DVD in the TV.

"Another horror movie Eli? Really?" I say, grossed out by the blood and gore of the opening scene. I bury my face in Eli's chest to block the images. "Why do you like them so much?"

"Because whenever you get scared, you snuggle up to me," he said, lifting my chin up with his hand so he could plant a small peck on my cheek.

_If only he knew I wanted to do so much more… but I'm just "Saint Clare" to him. _

After a few hours of watching movies like "Friday the Thirteenth" and "Last House on the Left," Eli told me to wait in his room for a while.

"I'm going to set up a surprise down here. Wait upstairs for about a half hour." With that, he led me upstairs, kissed me softly on the lips, and left for downstairs.

After he went downstairs, I explored Eli's room, but differently from how I did it this morning. I wasn't snooping in all his drawers or looking in his closet, I was just looking around, trying to learn more about him. I lay down in his bed on his side, and inhaled his scent from the pillow. I caught myself, and jumped out of bed after I realized that was the most stalker-ish thing I've ever done in my life.

_What was it about Eli that makes me so crazy...?_

I lay back on his bed, and clasp my hands behind my head. I think about how this awkward day turned into the best day of my life. I doze off for a little bit, but I open my eyes when Eli walks in the door. He leans against the doorway, and smirks at me, before he comes over and lies next to me.

"Do you want to stay here with me, or do you want to see your surprise?" Eli whispers in my ear. I wanted to stay here with Eli more than anything, but I really wanted to see what the "surprise" is. I push myself off the bed and he does the same. Eli takes my hand and leads me down the stairs, covering my eyes with his hands as we walk into a room that I don't know of.

"You ready for your surprise?" Eli whispers in my ears as he takes his hand off my eyes.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI, ITS CHARACTERS, FRIDAY THE 13TH, OR LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT.**

**Author's note: OMG! 1.28K hits in a DAY! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! and OMG i need to tell you something that happened a few weeks ago at school! So a hearse pulled in at my schools parking lot, me being all "OMG ELI! ELI! OMG!" But no hot goth kid walked out of it. Some tall gawky nerdy kid did. xP**

**And sorry for the short chapter, I wanted chapter nine to be REAL long so I wanted to make this one short.**


	9. Desperate for Love

She loves it. I can tell because her eyes are even brighter than usual and her smile is huge. I look at her surprise that took me only a half hour to prepare. I had dimmed the lights in the dining room, and put candles on the shelves around the room. I had cooked spaghetti and homemade sauce (_Lady and the Tramp, _much?), and I had a bouquet of roses in the center of the table.

"Who knew Eli Goldsworthy was a true romantic at heart?" Clare said, landing a small peck on my lips. I lean down and kiss her back. Surprisingly, she pulls back and says, "later," with a coy wink.

_Later? What? Is she implying that she wants to… God, what's going on with Clare?_

I decide to ignore my thoughts so that Clare and I could enjoy the dinner that I had prepared. We sit down next to each other and begin to eat.

"Wow, Eli, this is amazing! When did you learn to cook? I mean, you don't strike me as the cooking type."

I smirk and say, "Didn't I say yesterday to not expect anything this weekend?" My expression becomes darker, and I reveal another part of my past.

"Whenever my dad would come home late, drunk, he and my mom would lock themselves in their rooms and yell at each other. She would never cook after those fights, so it was either learn to cook or starve."

I feel Clare's small hand on mine as she gently strokes the top of my hand with her thumb. I lean over and give her a small but meaningful peck on the cheek.

We continue eating, and sometimes I would feed her from my plate. It's hard to think that just this morning, we were just friends.

"What's for dessert?" Clare asks.

"I didn't make any…" I say, embarrassed. I wanted this to be perfect!

"Then, we'll have to think of something," Clare says with a wink, taking my hand and leading me upstairs to my room.

"Clare… what are you doing?"

_What happened to my sweet, innocent Clare? Is this what she meant by "later?"_

When she reached the door to my room upstairs, she opened it and started kissing me. The kiss wasn't out of love. It felt hungry and desperate. I started to fight against her, but gave in. She pushed me back to my bed, and I rolled on top of her. When she tried unzip my jeans is when I stopped her.

"Clare, what are you doing?"

"What are _you _doing, Eli? Don't you love me?" By now, she was starting to tear up, and I tried to piece this all together.

"Clare, what about your purity ring?" I asked, lifting up her hand to show her. "This ring symbolizes what you believe in and live for. I'm not taking that away from you. And come on Clare, we haven't even been together for a full day yet!"

By now, Clare was crying fully, and I could hardly make out the words she was saying. She curled herself in the fetal position.

"I need someone that loves me, Eli! I need to feel love! Do you know how hard it is for me at home?"

I lay down next to her and wrap my arms around her.

"I love you Clare. I've loved you since the first day I saw you. But this isn't the right place, and defiantly isn't the right time. And I will wait until you're ready. I promise." I leaned over and kissed her cheek.

She didn't respond, but she held onto my arms that were around her. Her sobs turned into light tears, then to gentle breathing. My last thought before I fell asleep was how I even surprised myself this weekend.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI OR ITS CHARACTERS!**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been updating in a while. But I have a pretty good excuse- my uncle is at the hospital and is possibly dying. I've been praying like I've never prayed before, and it's taken up my time and priorities for a while. **

**OMG IS ANYONE ELSE SUFFERING FROM ELI WITHDRAWL? I miss his smirk x[**

**And the day Degrassi comes back on I have my school's first football game at home! AWHH YEAH! But the game ends RIGHT as Degrassi starts- 9PM! Dx**


	10. Love Like Woah

I awake Sunday morning to the soft patter of rain outside Eli's window and his gentle breathing. I feel a wave of embarrassment ricochet through my body when I remember the night before. I had literally thrown myself on him then cried like a baby for the second night in a row! I push myself out of bed and realize I fell asleep with my clothes on.

_Was I really _that_ much of an emotional wreck last night?_

I look at the clock on Eli's bedside table and the digital numbers blink **3:42**. I change into a pair of shorts and a tank top and crawl back into bed. I could feel Eli move next to me, and he turns to face me. We're so close that his hair tickles my forehead.

"You feeling better?" He whispers, his voice deep with concern.

"Very," I say, smiling wearily. "Eli? I'm… I'm sorry for last night. And thank you for stopping me before it got any farther."

Eli wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in pure love. I rest my head in the crook of his neck, and inhale his scent of spearmint as I cry softly into his chest.

"It's okay, Blue Eyes, it's okay." He says, repeating it over and over in a soft voice and stroking my hair until we both fall asleep again.

When I wake up again, light flooded the room and I heard the birds chirping and the shower going in Eli's bathroom. I roll over to Eli's side of the bed, and inhale his scent, which made me relax instantly. Suddenly, the water turns off and I hear the door open with a click. Eli strolls out with a towel tied around his waist and one hung around his neck. So many un-Christian thoughts fill my mind at the sight of him.

"Enjoy the view, Blue Eyes?" Eli asks as he rummages through his dresser without turning around. My cheeks feel hot, as I was planning on pretending to sleep so I could watch Eli change.

_Yeah, that's _very_ Christian of you, Clare._

"You wish," I mumble into the pillow. I hoist myself out of bed and pull out a clean pair of jeans and a shirt out of my duffle bag. I walk into the bathroom and change, and notice that Eli had drawn "Eli + Clare" in the steam on the mirror. I smile to myself as I draw a heart next to it with my finger and leave the bathroom to go downstairs. Eli, is, as always, cooking. He was putting what looked like cinnamon rolls in the oven as I walked over to him.

"I loved your mirror message," I say to him, kissing his cheek.

"Glad you liked it," he says back, kissing my lips this time. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Suddenly, Eli lifts me up onto the counter and I wrap my legs around his waist.

"If we go any farther, I don't know how I'm going to stop," he says when he comes up for air. I untangle my legs from him and he lifts me off the counter.

"Maybe I don't want to stop," I say. Once I say it, I know it's the truth. I love him, and I don't want to wait.

"Clare, we've been dating for a day. It's not the right time." Eli says, taking out the pan of rolls as a sweet cinnamon smell fills the room. I don't say anything after that, so we eat our breakfast and talk about what we could do that day to get out of the house.

"Surprise me," I say. "It always leads to something good."

He smirks at me, grabs my hand, and leads me out of his house to his car.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI OR ITS CHARACTERS!**

**Author's Note: Ok guys, I need your opinion on something. Have any of you heard about the Stalker Wonderland Twins who stalked Thomas Chambers around Canada's wonderland to find Munro? They piss me of sooo badly. They tweet the cast members as if they were bffs! And NOW they have a petition to get themselves on Degrassi! I'm not trying to be rude over this, but honestly, there's a fine line between "fan" and "stalker fan." Does anyone agree with me on this?**

**And if you havent heard the song "Love like Woe" yet, you should! I've listened to it 110 times, according to iTunes x]**


	11. Signs from the Sky

"So, Eli, where are you taking me this time?" I ask with curiosity. The last trip he had taken me made him reveal a dark secret… and I hope that this trip was for a better reason.

"A special place," Eli says, taking his eyes off the road for a short second so that he could look at me. My heart stops for a moment when he says that, and I look out the window at the passing scenery to think.

_He said it "wasn't the right place" when I wanted to have sex with him… is he bringing me to a "special place" so we can do it?_

My heart stops again. That's happened so many times this weekend, I'm probably at risk for a heart attack.

_I want to be with Eli… but how could I give up my promise to God. Okay, calm down. You don't even know if sex is his intention…_

I feel confused. I want Eli, so badly. I want his love in the greatest way possible. But, can I really give up everything I believe in? Is this the temptation that I've been taught about since I started Christian youth classes in third grade?

I feel Eli's hand on mine, and it snaps me back to reality.

"You okay?" He asks with concern.

"Eli, what did you mean by 'special?'"

"Special as in this is our last day together until my dad gets back from his business trip."

_Yeah, that really clarifies his intentions…_

Eli takes the next exit on the highway, and drives until we reach a little dirt road with trees on both sides.

"Eli…?" I ask, not caring to hide my curiosity and concern. He doesn't answer, just smirks and takes my hand to lead me out the car. I've never liked the woods, because I've always had a fear of bears, wolves, and any other wild animal that could kill.

But these woods, they were… beautiful. Light filtered through the canopy that the trees made, creating a delicate lacy pattern on the bare forest floor. It continued to be bare as we walked along, until I saw a wildflower here and there. The amount of wildflowers grew, until we reached a clearing that was full of them. Light pink, blue and purple, they were everywhere. There was no grass, just flowers.

I gasp softly, and I feel Eli gently squeeze my hand. He leads me to a rock in the center of the clearing that had a ray of light shining down on it. The rock was about one foot above the floor of flowers, and the surface was flat, as if someone cut it with a knife. We both step onto it, and lie down.

I run my hand over the surface, marveling in its smoothness. I never knew a rock could be this smooth.

I feel Eli slip his hand into mine and entwine out fingers together. I turn to face him, staring into his intense emerald eyes. They never ceased to make me melt. Eli leans forward to kiss me, and I felt tingles throughout my body when our lips met. I slip my tongue into his mouth, and he places my hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him.

When we pull back for air, I just stare at his face for a while as he closes his eyes and basks in the sun.

"So… what's the story of this place?" I ask, afraid of the answer. I don't want every meaningful place we go to be about his dead ex girlfriend.

"I never came here with Julia. I found this place… after her funeral. I do that when I'm upset, I drive until I find a place I like." Eli says with his arm dangling over the rock, his fingertips tickling the flowers below.

"Eli?" I say, my voice quivering.

"Yes, Blue Eyes?" He says, turning to face me.

"I love you." I know I meant it this time. I wasn't saying it to get him to have sex with me, I was saying because it was true, and it was for that reason alone.

"I love you too," Eli says, pulling me closer to him so that his forehead was pressed against mine and that our noses were touching.

I want to stay here forever with him. Where there's no parent troubles, or school. Just love.

I stare up at the blue sky and the fluffy clouds rolling by. Was that my imagination, or was that one shaped like a heart?

I feel Eli turn his head next to me and I see him face the sky.

"I see it too," he says softly, gently stroking my hand.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI OR ITS CHARACTERS!**

**Author's Note: heyy everyone! Did you all see that new episode on friday? WHERE WAS ELI! x[**

**And those promos? Wow, I think I died. Eli looked sooo hot in them hahaha**

**Follow me on tumblr! **

fuck yeah eli and clare love .tumblr .com

Just without the spaces. For some reason, it wouldn't show without the spaces on here O.o


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